so, i finally bit the bullet and pulled the old blog out of the archives and loaded it up to wordpress.  i figured with as much as i have going on lately, i really need a written outlet for things.  i need that familiar space to dump stories, ideas and just general brain vomit.

so…where do i start?  dear me, it’s been years since i wrote [at least here…i have my journal from 2007/2008].  oh boy.  up to speed lickity split is the only way…tear off the band aid right quick.  mr. mountainbike [love that i came up with that name for him on here] and i were married in 2005.  it was a whirlwind and we were inseparable.  i can’t even begin to articulate what those years were like for me.  we were mad for each other and…well…like all good things, they had to come to an end. 

march 14th, 2007, he was out for a ride on tiger mountain…one of his favorite rides.  he had done everything right from a safety perspective.  his helmet was relatively new, but he took a bad fall and landed oddly on his head.  he broke his neck and suffered significant head trauma.  he would have been able to recover if he had been able to get to a hospital, but the fall paralyzed him.  it wasn’t until later in the day that i realized that something wasn’t right and it wasn’t until that night that we found him on the trail.  he died on march 15th at 3:05 in the morning.

ugh.  that’s the short version.  we were married for a short two years, but it seemed like a lifetime.  we packed so much life and love into those two years.  it took me nearly two years to get my feet under me again and to where i could say how much i cherished the time we spent together and be okay with the fact that he wasn’t around any more.  it wasn’t the missing him that was the worst, though, it was the odd things that would catch me off guard.  like passing a coffee shop we stopped at once.   or seeing a word on a sign that use to make him laugh.  things like that would just destroy me and blind side me.

but it has been a while now, and on with catching up.  i sold our house in december and moved in with his parents while i looked for a new house.  well…i moved in with them, but i spent time living with anyone who would have me.  it was fun at first, but the novelty of relying on others generosity wore off quickly.  fortunately, i finally found a house and closed escrow in august of this year.  i have just finished moving in [although, i am still buried in boxes].  i love the location and the lot and the neighbors and the quaintness and…well, just everything.  this is the first time i’ve had a yard, so i’m really looking forward to getting out there and playing in the dirt.

i think the last time i wrote i was still running road marathons.  well, i’ve graduated from that and now i’m running and racing exclusively on trails.  i had a flirting relationship with triathlon for a few years there, but that became overwhelming and expensive and more frustrating than what i needed at the time.  i started running really long on trails as a form of therapy [not intentionally…i’d just go out and not want to come back for hours].  so, i ended up running ultras and long stage routes.  i ended up injured after my last 50 mile race, though, so i’m currently in recovery mode.

whew…that’s the short version, almost bullet pointed.  i’ll try to be more diligent about posting regularly now.  oh, and i’d like to transcribe some of the 2007/2008 grieving journals that i wrote.  maybe it will help others who find themselves in similar situation.

ci vediamo!

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